Ian Young spent £12,000 fighting for a British visa for his Malaysian wife Fatine – who was born Mohammed Fazdil Min Bahari – after she claimed she would be jailed if she returned to her home country, where homosexuality is illegal.
He claims his love for the 38-year-old pre-operative transsexual even saw him being hounded out of caretaking jobs at three schools by angry parents.
But two weeks after his wife was granted a visa, she left him. He says she is now living on benefits in Manchester after failing to start a career as a showgirl in Blackpool.
Mr Young, 32, who says that at one stage he tried to kill himself by overdosing on pills, is trying to rebuild his life after he was left jobless and homeless.
He said: ‘I used every penny I had and I lost everything. I lost my job, I lost my house and finally I lost my wife. Looking back I realise she was using me to get a visa.
'I feel like a fool. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. Now she won’t speak to me and she won’t get a divorce.’
Wedding day: The couple in 2009 when they married, left, and Fatine, right, whom Mr Young did not realise had been born a man
The couple met when Mr Young was working as a security guard in Malaysia.
At first he did not realise she had been born a man. When he discovered her secret, he continued the relationship despite her refusing to have sex-change surgery to become a woman.
Within the space of three years, Mr Young went from being a straight man who had previously had an eight-year relationship with a woman to being homosexual.
Fatine later moved into his house in Derby on a six-month tourist visa. The couple had a civil partnership ceremony at their local register office in 2009.
They fought for a full visa for Fatine after the request was initially turned down by the Home Office.
Mr Young said the stress and disapproval of angry parents led to him leaving a string of caretaking jobs. He was prescribed anti-depressants and said he even tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of pills.
To support her visa case, Fatine included in her application death threats made against her on an internet site in Malaysia. When she was finally granted a visa, Mr Young was overjoyed and began planning their future together. But two weeks later, she moved out.
‘Fatine went off to live with friends in Blackpool and that didn’t work out because they got fed up with her not getting work there,’ he said. ‘She thought she could crack it as a showgirl and got refused, so now she is in Manchester claiming benefits.’
He added: ‘Our relationship was okay, but it was always filled with worry about visas, not just about getting them, but where we were getting the money from.
Mr Young, who is now staying with friends and wants to end the civil partnership, said of the relationship: ‘Being a straight man, I did have a few concerns. But I couldn’t ignore how I felt.
‘I admit that I did neglect Fatine when I was depressed. I just wanted her to tell me we could get through it together but she wasn’t interested.
‘I’m trying to start my own business. I’m still in debt, but I’m moving on and getting back on my feet.’
At first he did not realise she had been born a man. When he discovered her secret, he continued the relationship despite her refusing to have sex-change surgery to become a woman.
Within the space of three years, Mr Young went from being a straight man who had previously had an eight-year relationship with a woman to being homosexual.
Fatine later moved into his house in Derby on a six-month tourist visa. The couple had a civil partnership ceremony at their local register office in 2009.
They fought for a full visa for Fatine after the request was initially turned down by the Home Office.
Mr Young said the stress and disapproval of angry parents led to him leaving a string of caretaking jobs. He was prescribed anti-depressants and said he even tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of pills.
To support her visa case, Fatine included in her application death threats made against her on an internet site in Malaysia. When she was finally granted a visa, Mr Young was overjoyed and began planning their future together. But two weeks later, she moved out.
‘Fatine went off to live with friends in Blackpool and that didn’t work out because they got fed up with her not getting work there,’ he said. ‘She thought she could crack it as a showgirl and got refused, so now she is in Manchester claiming benefits.’
He added: ‘Our relationship was okay, but it was always filled with worry about visas, not just about getting them, but where we were getting the money from.
Ian Young said his life is in ruins after he spent £12,000 to get his Malaysian wife Fatine a visa - only for her to leave him immediately after it was granted
‘We had applied five times in total and the cost was thousands. I was a caretaker in a small school earning £640 a month.’ He said his mother even lent them £2,000 to help out.Mr Young, who is now staying with friends and wants to end the civil partnership, said of the relationship: ‘Being a straight man, I did have a few concerns. But I couldn’t ignore how I felt.
‘I admit that I did neglect Fatine when I was depressed. I just wanted her to tell me we could get through it together but she wasn’t interested.
‘I’m trying to start my own business. I’m still in debt, but I’m moving on and getting back on my feet.’
Mr Young was forced to leave schools, including St Chad's Infants in Derby, after complaints from parents who disapproved of his lifestyle
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